Namrin's Blog
Every storm has a story, every name has a history.
Tuesday 29 June 2021
Memory.
Hiraeth.
Saturday 5 June 2021
Lovely.
Sunday 25 April 2021
Bohemian.
Monday 18 January 2021
Sunshine.
Smile like your mother never hurt you,
Saturday 16 January 2021
Amber skin.
And the sun will rise again on her.
Her skin will be amber and her hair as bright as caramel,
she'd have the look of an angel even in her devilish smile.
He'd follow her to the ends of the world,
because no one loves like she does,
No one saw the sky or the world like she imagined believed.
You could drown peacefully in her laughter,
and be saved by her tears.
She froze the mountains so that we could be closer to heaven.
He knew that beneath all that valour was someone who needed a moment,
just a moment to not carry the weight of the world on her shoulders.
A moment to just let go under these waters,
Her great escape. Even though she was made from the rough edges
of her soul.
Oh how the moon sought after her.
like it was oblivion coming to an end.
She never knew about all the hopes she saved,
about all the souls she brought home.
And just like that, she gave into her scars with honour,
she still breathed courage in her dark brown eyes.
And when he finally held her, almost stone cold
She told him, how she always knew he'd save her.
He'd save her even though she wasn't the one who needed saving.
For she'd let him fall deeper into her amber skin, until she let go.
Only to be a part of something greater than herself.
Beneath all the fires and oceans of her serene beauty,
He could only love her. But she saved him.
Somehow that became the love story that survived everything.
Tuesday 3 November 2020
Epiphany.
Every Sunday morning, I watch all these pictures behind my eyes,
I remember us being so perfectly loved with each other.
And classically forgetting about every worry beyond our world.
Then I became stoic. To this feeling of all my insides turning against me,
You sought after me and ended up lost.
I gave up all of our happiness for something else,
for not having guilt. To walk into my home without having to keep my head low.
You've made me so happy. So happy that I can revive myself
every time my faith hits rock bottom.
My bed is bigger than before, the devils in my thoughts at times.
This wasn't an environment I could feel the pain.
All my anger took my wounds different. Beyond my surface,
I'm stronger than I want to give credit for.
All the villains and heroes and the damsels in distress,
they didn't give me hope anymore.
I don't like some of my scars because I didn't choose them.
I've always been the happy and funny child, the buffer in the family fights.
No one knew how toxic it got at times.
We came so long to have it all right.
If only you could see all the strength in me now,
Mother, Father, see me without all your expectations.
I once craved talks with you,
those that didn't leave the room or are repeated.
I wish I told you this before.
I love what I've become. All I want now is to have love for what I used to be.
I'm the same beneath all the layers.
I've found love within myself finally.
I've seen what vulnerability does to us,
but I see it so much different than a moment of weakness
or being fake or needing attention.
It's the most beautiful to watch someone be themselves.
There's so much pride in that, I never understood before.
But when I watch myself,
I hope you see that your daughter is so much more than you expected.
There's so much beneath my surface.
One day, I'll walk home with you, I'll tell you about me differently.
I quite miss our home.