I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for my grades in school,
For the way I've changed.
I'm sorry for letting you down,
For being different than what you had in mind.
I'm sorry for my flaws that makes me human,
For being irresponsible at times.
I'm sorry for being a mess,
For hiding my woes.
I'm sorry for not understanding you,
For being blind to your struggles.
I'm sorry for not keeping up to my word,
For being mundane.


But,
Thank you for not giving up on me,
For trusting me again.
Thank you for not making me feel less worthy,
For pushing me to new boundaries.
Thank you for your scoldings,
For being there for me.
Thank you for loving me,
For never leaving me at my dark times.
Thank you for giving me all you had,
For showing me there is still good left in this world.

And I've spent months sulking in,
Hours trying to catch up to  the things I left undone.
To the losses and gains,
The heart breaks and therapy sessions in my shower.
The puffy eyes and salt kissed cheeks.
The day where I realised my own fragility
The time I accepted my vulnerability.
Trying to make peace with whatever daemons I have got left.

I let my fears drive me,
I let my guard cage my heart.
And I searched for happiness in places I never wanted to be.
But my dear misguided heart never knew this until the fire I kept putting out turned into the sun.
And my mistakes were like scars of a battle,
Worn proudly without a pinch of embarrassment
My mask buried in the ground,
My stories in your head.
My name at the tip of your tongue.

And I was sure I wanted to be here,
I am sure I am where I'm supposed to be.
And I know fairy tales may not be true,
And it's alright,  because I don't want a golden carriage or a prince charming,
I want that cozy cottage and the fireplace,
And my family around me to keep me warm at heart.
And forever don't seem like such a bad idea,
So I'd like to have that too.