Memory.

If there is a memory of me in your wired heart,

how you played the game but never got out.

In confessions of all your sins,

I am always your golden ticket to heaven.

You tell me you see peace in my words, in my love,

there's a devil in my hurt.

As beautifully cold as the heavens that made me.

Yet fire is my favourite.

You walk up to me like you could ever catch me falling.

Memory of me. One,

the one that makes you run for the hills in search of oceans.

One that makes you feel alive and want more.

Well aware of all the love in my heart,

and walls as high as sky around it. Run to me.

I keep getting bruised and I keep laughing.

Crash into my waves and dive with me

to see all the blue and black and whatever you threw out the window.

All the demons that you bury

I want to be a memory you live everyday.

Like I live in happy places

How I remember you.

I'm one for the road and one for the house on top of the cavalry.

Never the one for routines, rules or runaways.

Amber fire and knee deep into arguments.

I'm staying past the midnights, I don't want to miss the sunrise on your face.

I might be the end of you, you might be mine.

And memories of us will be told in books without our names.

The love will always be the same.

How you always held onto one memory of me.

How I never bothered to overthink about the pain 

but everything else.

Funny, memories or memory

we always go back to the one.

The one that make us feel alive. The one that makes you run for the hills

and me for the oceans.

We still end up in the middle together.

Funny and maybe a little ironic if you know us.

Memory that fades memories.

Hiraeth.

I remember saying 'I love you',

always the first to say.

Even when angry. Now I wonder where the love has gone.

He keeps score,

that's how it feels. Information for information.

So all the nights spent worrying his heart is still warm,

makes me cold. 

[Cripple me] with love and with embrace.

Like a never-ending tale,

glass cut and paper hearts.

I want to hear you say 'I love you'

even if you don't mean it.

Say it before I do.

I want to know everything. Not when your purpose is served.

Battling demons in my rib cage,

so you wouldn't have to.

This should not be a losing game,

I am slipping through your bliss

[falling] breaking crashing through space and time 

over and over again.

I've taken the love with the hurt.

I know I've been loved more.

That that kind of love exists within you.

How does it feel to be left in the dark

and thrown into the light with every fleeting memory?

With every promise as easy as breathing.

I remember five years ago, the love you promised me.

The woman I've come to be.

Love that has learned to grow.

Roots that gave me wings.

When will the comfort be more than discomfort for us?

How long before I stay and see no love in your eyes?

I want to know when the light is more than darkness,

will I still be the one you'll want?

Love is not meant to be easy.

But it is also not meant to be weighed, or stripped with convenience.

I'm in love with flowers that wither,

as fragile as love can be,

as real as it should be. Can you promise me that?

Promise that there won't be scores

or conveniences that hide what needs to be known.

I want there to be love that's worth the pain and struggle,

till I wither away and my memories are poems 

in our wrinkled skin.

Promise me you won't make me homesick for a home in our memories alone.

That our home will be worth every fight.

 

Lovely.

Everything seems good, 

and I mean everything around me.

But somewhere inside, six feet down my heart

I feel like it's hurting. Constantly breaking 

[falling apart] and mending itself.

Something that seemed to make the hurting worse.

And I'm always smiling, always laughing

trying to be sunshine that everyone needs.

My words don't seem to resonate.

Clutched into an entirety of feeling somewhere in between the emotions.

Like I shouldn't have hoped for a best friend in her.

Or sabotaged the only love that seemed beautiful to me.

All along these walks,

collecting flowers, twirling in the rain

Ended up being the keeper of happiness for someone else 

for days that never treated her well.

Words that were never meant to hurt,

Love that wasn't supposed to leave you broken some nights.

Feeling like walking away for now would fix you.

No matter the stories you read,

or words that would mean anything less.

The girl who loved too soon [too easily]

The one who calls people beautiful,

something about that word fascinated me.

And I was wrong.

The one to always apologize, 

the one who feels too deep.

The one who cries instantly [vulnerability]

Tomorrow I'll wake up smiling

I'll still go through it all.

I know something in me hurts, and I'll still love despite it.

I'll give everyone my everything,

even if I'm never to be understood for myself.

And I'll probably never be able to tell them what's broken hurting inside,

but I'll do it for myself.

I'm worth the love I hold.

I'm not ripped of happiness,

just too hurt to know it's surrounding me at days.

This might not be the words that shine rainbows and smiles,

but this is something real.

And that's lovely.

Bohemian.

She feels so deep, almost like an amorist.

Her sister could never see beyond herself,

Her mother always put everyone above.

Her father loved agape.

She wanted to be more than just herself.

She wanted to learn humility,

weakness, strength and love.

To know how to hurt and how to heal.

All the world could ever see was beauty and flaws.

They saw everything through but nothing deeply.

She knew how to be caught in the entirety of the emotions.

The blood that course through her veins,

it looked more colourful inside her.

She believes in something bigger than her.

Gratefully, she always pulls herself together.

She is always loved,

somehow she doubts that, nefariously in between.

All the staring eyes telling her she needs to let go,

she doesn't belong to greatness.

That she isn't build to run anymore than her doubts.

So she remembers her mother's eyes.

The ones that always saw her soar.

The ones that always shine at her humanity.

Her father's smile,

The pride every time you built yourself higher.

The joy whenever she stood by the right.

As I walk by all these new windows,

the new everything. 

I believe that I do not belong to just one place.

I could make a home anywhere,

as long as I remember where I started from. 

My safe haven. My start and all my journey nonetheless.

When I find the sun in a different sky,

I'll still have all my love,

all my heart.

Those eyes, smile and everything more,

always in love.

Sunshine.

Smile. Smile like you've never missed happiness.
Smile like your mother never hurt you,

or your father never raised his hands.

Like all you've felt every time the sun shines is just peace.

Laugh at these parties, you look pretty.

All the wounds can wait for another day.

Don't choose for yourself again,

don't hurt the ones you've come to love.

And all these bathtubs and walls have become her person to lean to.

Your sister knows the hurt in your eyes.

Any day of the week, when she feels different

she tucks away her feelings in her coat.

They never taught her to feel peacefully.

Sunshine, we'll choose love for you.

She never hurt them even though she couldn't see past her swollen eyes.

Her tears weighed too much as she grew older.

Home has always been her anchor, 

but sometimes it would take her down.

All those band-aids did nothing.

These wounds open every time she got hurt.

Sunshine in the moon's darkness was her specialty.

Did they ever catch her breaking herself?

How could they have been so blindsided in her pain?

She knew her body would give up soon.

Yet she marched on so gracefully.

every time the words that cut her came back to life,

She'd remind herself of her strength.

her strength to not hurt who she loves. That she can take one more hit.

Her love was withering away,

she bloomed more and more flowers in her throat as time passed.

She thought about days where she'd stop,

when everything inside would. And she'd revive herself with her flowers.

Just for herself. And her walls would know her more than the ones she called home.

Conspicuous to her heart, she knew she loved them

No matter all the knives in her heart.

or how oblivious they are to her hurting.

She'll love them.

She's sunshine. The sun never burns out.

Not yet.

Amber skin.

And the sun will rise again on her.

Her skin will be amber and her hair as bright as caramel,

she'd have the look of an angel even in her devilish smile.

He'd follow her to the ends of the world,

because no one loves like she does,

No one saw the sky or the world like she imagined believed.

You could drown peacefully in her laughter,

and be saved by her tears.

She froze the mountains so that we could be closer to heaven.

He knew that beneath all that valour was someone who needed a moment,

just a moment to not carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. 

A moment to just let go under these waters,

Her great escape. Even though she was made from the rough edges 

of her soul.

Oh how the moon sought after her.

like it was oblivion coming to an end.

She never knew about all the hopes she saved,

about all the souls she brought home.

And just like that, she gave into her scars with honour,

she still breathed courage in her dark brown eyes.

And when he finally held her, almost stone cold

She told him, how she always knew he'd save her.

He'd save her even though she wasn't the one who needed saving.

For she'd let him fall deeper into her amber skin, until she let go.

Only to be a part of something greater than herself.

Beneath all the fires and oceans of her serene beauty,

He could only love her. But she saved him.

Somehow that became the love story that survived everything.

Epiphany.

 Every Sunday morning, I watch all these pictures behind my eyes,

I remember us being so perfectly loved with each other.

And classically forgetting about every worry beyond our world.

Then I became stoic. To this feeling of all my insides turning against me,

You sought after me and ended up lost.

I gave up all of our happiness for something else,

for not having guilt. To walk into my home without having to keep my head low.

You've made me so happy. So happy that I can revive myself

every time my faith hits rock bottom.

My bed is bigger than before, the devils in my thoughts at times.

This wasn't an environment I could feel the pain.

All my anger took my wounds different. Beyond my surface,

I'm stronger than I want to give credit for.

All the villains and heroes and the damsels in distress,

they didn't give me hope anymore.

I don't like some of my scars because I didn't choose them.

I've always been the happy and funny child, the buffer in the family fights.

No one knew how toxic it got at times.

We came so long to have it all right.

If only you could see all the strength in me now,

Mother, Father, see me without all your expectations.

I once craved talks with you, 

those that didn't leave the room or are repeated.

I wish I told you this before. 

I love what I've become. All I want now is to have love for what I used to be.

I'm the same beneath all the layers.

I've found love within myself finally.

I've seen what vulnerability does to us,

but I see it so much different than a moment of weakness 

or being fake or needing attention.

It's the most beautiful to watch someone be themselves.

There's so much pride in that, I never understood before.

But when I watch myself,

I hope you see that your daughter is so much more than you expected.

There's so much beneath my surface.

One day, I'll walk home with you, I'll tell you about me differently.

I quite miss our home.

Part of me.

 He doesn't say i love you until I do,

and it breaks everything in me, to hold myself under the shower.

I stay there feeling like this is every kind of love.

I see how my father laughs with my mother,

but he doesn't cry with her when she hurts.

All the memories in which he says it's his wish,

where she has tied herself to his life has somehow lost its value.

For I somehow believed this is what every sacrifice turns into.

He knew what it means to hurt so I believed him when he told me,

I hurt him. I've broken him. 

And somehow all the hurt, the bruises, the nights I clutched my pillow

and cried into silence without making the smallest of echoes,

I forgot everything, the days he didn't treat me well.

I gave it all up to fix what is us.

While I still lie wide awake till I can sleep without bloodshot eyes,

as I break all that I am and all I am left.

I see my mother and my father, loved by one another

yet she deserves to be heard more,

Here I am, believing I'm safer if I am alone.

My wounds bleed into his scars,

We used to be so beautiful.

But I am nothing more than an enigma to you now.

I drifted away, with all the sadness I pushed beneath my skin.

You knew me before I broke.

I've lost you. But I'm still fighting while you wait.

I never believed you'd hurt me or leave me.

Here I am, I've seen how my home has turned into what it is now.

The walls know more about us than we do about each other.

How can I build something with you while where I am from 

keeps crumbling down into ruins slowly.

Everything I grew up in, I've outgrown them all.

I need you to stay,

but then I hear your voice and I feel like all the love is drained from it.

And I've always been the one to fix others,

when I need help myself. I believed I'm not broken.

I was scared of all the feelings that I buried,

Here I am.

I'm just a part of me. And I'll not let you make me feel responsible for needing time.

For feeling like I need myself more than ever.

I am my mother's daughter.

And she has always had strength even when she was alone.

Finally, I get her and she will get me.

And if your love is as true as you say,

I'll find my back to us, one day.

Every us.

 Every book, every song and every romance,

we believed we belonged to the love stories.

The ones that end happily in a way, like the ones we see on the screens.

I believed all I wanted was a romance.

and then I met you. We were just you and me.

without definitions. We talked for hours without any labels.

Because we weren't supposed to be seen yet.

and you told me one day we will. So all the grey skies will be pretty.

Like the rain on the back of my hands,

the walks beyond time and the silence that made me want to write books about us.

We were not the love story we set out seeking at fifteen.

we're the kind of story that people search for,

the ones they pray for. You made faith look beautiful than it used to be.

every day that we stay apart added to the eternity I dream about.

I remember walking to you, and I was so blind

That I didn't see the love in your eyes then.

Too young to know what love is.

So you showed me what it means to be a friend.

And your heart looked like mine. 

every crack and every bruise, every flower and every piece of me.

Loving you is like seeing in colours in a black window.

we aren't made for now, because we are meant to be.

And like that, every us in a parallel world aligned one by one.

to let us collide into each other, in plain sight.

For every us, it will always be worth it.

Royals.

black and blue, faded into the sirens and the red light.
he was screaming, she was grasping for breath.
tires screech but the room is locked, and he goes at it again.
she's tired and bruised and looks for the light,
she believes this is the end of the tunnel.
but it didn't stop there to her horror.
he was crying, telling her how much he loves her.
he doesn't apologise and she is tired, she wanted to be covered in ice.
then men of power comes, they shred the last of her integrity,
questions her and makes her believe she was wrong for justice.
she goes home, scared to lie in her bed,
because he is free, and she is trapped in nightmares.

he was conscious, he was bullied and beaten up.
he didn't see his father be nice to his mother.
maybe that's what turned him so wrong.
so he grabs her by the hand,
he believes this is love in a twisted way.
he owns her body and soul.
but he doesn't know he is wrong. so he hurts again and again.
he was scared of the boys locker room.
he was scared of another persons hand on his body.
he was damaged but he was said he shouldn't show it,
it was less of a man. so he became the man he grew up seeing at his home.

these are the royals,
they've burned their sanctuary, because they grew up believing you need to burn,
to feel warm.
so they took the flames, they swallowed it all.
and the powers of those in suits and ties, shadowed their dignity,
or whatever was left of it.
and they ran, because they wanted to be alone and free.
in a bed made out of love and free of blood,
they are royals because they built their empire out of ruins.
women and men who had to run, for safety, for peace.
they are royals because they stood tall even after they fell down.
i am a royal. but i hope you never have to be one.
i hope you are safe.
let's hope you make an empire without having to run.

Safe to forget.

the flowers were lilac painted blue,

the rain was pink and the sun was red.

and we'll have conversations to write on our polaroid.

and she was as wild as you can write about,

and he was the anchor that kept her grounded.

there was love but there was happiness.

and in this world, it was a sacred thing.

it was safe to forget that what's hidden isn't gone.

it was safe, for all we know everyone wanted love before happiness.

and they found a way to melt into one another.

he knew she was meant for greatness,

but she saw the brightest fire in his eyes.

the thing about this love was that they weren't prisoners in each other,

they knew one was meant to fly while the other was meant to run.

cold as it sounds, their warmth lies in this.

she build castles from ruin, she was gold that never turned grey.

she could be so beautiful, so brave.

knowing kindness is all that she dreamed of, she saw the world once through fire,

she was safe, because she'd walk through hell for heavens to move.

she knew the devil lived in her,

he saw the truth in her as she fell,

her body eclipsed in the deep blue of the ocean.

he saw love, he could see she loved so deeply,

now the ocean lives because of her.

she was the fire, the flame, the water and even life was hers.

in the darkness she bled for the light.

she knew their was something beyond forgiveness.

so she took the pain for the happiness,

she screamed for everyone even when she had no one.

he knew he found an angel within this mundane world.

and she would be the death of him, and he will live for better.

he knew what it was to be loved the moment she held his hand.

it's safe to forget, 

she was the earth, the ocean and every thing that doesn't end.

for love is better left unexplained.

i hope this reminds me to be grateful,
when i am not myself and there's only ashes.
there's only darkness that pours out of my door,
i hope i remind myself of all the love i am made of.
of all the love that is fighting for me even when i do not deserve it.
i want to remember that i am beautiful.
that beauty is not toxic, it does not give you power.
but it gives you humility, kindness and even pain,
for hurting yourself to make something happy.

i hope one day someone reads all my letters to feel better,
i want to be a reason for someone to fall in love.
i want to be happy, but i want happiness for you as much as for me.
to be truthful hurts but to lie, it breaks.
it breaks bones, hearts, love and even trust.

you've lost your breath for someone once,
but you'll keep breathing for yourself,
for the ones at home,
when you fall in love, it shouldn't be with conditions,
it shouldn't be judged by anyone.
when you hold his hand, i hope you see a pretty smile in your face.
walk back to your home, watch your father and mother.
learn that love is different for everyone.
see them smile at your baby pictures happily,
you see love. because love is not just meant to be felt, but seen,
heard, read, loved, and what more.

paint your walls yellow so its sunrise when you wake up at night.
show some vulnerability, no one should have to have it all together every day.
and as i write in my study, i know he is still asleep at home.
poems that got me through school and life.
maybe you can be apart and still love deep.
i hope you remember, you will always be loved.
i hope i remember, i am always worthy of love.
i hope i'll know everyday that darkness is as beautiful as the flower in my nightstand.
all you have to do is love your own heart through all the storm.

i was there at 2 a.m,
when you needed to know you were loved.
i stayed till midnight to understand your reasons.
i told you i love you even when i didn't love myself.
took every hurt, every word like a bullet.
and covered my wounds with band-aids.
but every time it ripped i was on the floor.
i was a fool for thinking i could keep it all together.

for so long, I've loved myself so much because
just. just because.
your tragedy is always yours. and it's always the worst.
so is mine.
but i don't live or go back in the past,
i know it looks like that but it isn't.
i just remember things i don't want to.
you've stayed down for weeks, pushed me to a corner.
and i knew what i'll get towards the end was worth it all.
but i wish i was stronger to tell you i was hurt.

I've had way to many dark nights to see the light any different.
i'm just happy to wake up sad or happy, i'm just grateful for most days.
i know you don't like when i fall down,
but i need to break these walls and bones,
to feel like a piece of me is still worth fighting for.
because there are days i want to give up.
write a letter, leave a voicemail.
write a song for you and leave this city for a while.
but i want to come back to you at the end of everything.
so i'll stay,
i'll stay till the day i'm just someone and not the one.
because i'm scared a day like that is starting to exist.

for all the happy montages and sad songs and poems,
i'll be graciously grateful if i could be so.
and for you, i'll always thank life
but for me, i'll always make another wish.
wish to be understood without questions or reasons to hold me responsible,
just for a while my mind could be read without my mouth
i'll wish for myself to not be thought as to still go back to my past.
because i love myself and too much to lose it all on the things that gives me nightmares.
your tragedies are yours in your own way.
mine is just mine in a different way.
people are broken in different ways.
always remember,
if i could have ever been happy it was always with you and me.

shattered, loved, some new cities live in my coffee.
I've got unmade bed and love stories that reach an end in five pages.
It's 2015,
my first butterfly. My first reality.
Boy, I wish I knew you differently then.
you leave in a month. I've got two years of misunderstood feelings.
you leave tonight , oops. Stay?
It's 1:30 a.m , I'm tucked in and you blare my phone up.
Is this serendipity? Cause honey, I haven't told you yet.
But you could be the one to calm my storms.
You saw me past midnight,
I buried myself like my collar bones.

Oh, our love could go deeper.
you mean life with your name.
you haven't heard from me in a year, I've always loved to keep you swept off of your feet.
Two texts and a week later,
love stories that crumble always started in such a haste.
we guessed ours was different.
I loved your hands on my hair.
was it different?
"Make  try me."
you were cautious around me. you were you around me.
you called me beautiful once,
but i lit up more when you called me unique.

you read my lines and you saw pure glow.
you knew me more now,
you know I'm more than I show.
I knew you were here for the picture,
with fights and ugly bits as much as the pretty pink days.
grow with me, I'll show we are more than the worlds inside us.
I'll talk with you to the moon, and we can be high when the morning refines us.
though we'll be sober,
maybe our worlds beneath will know,
our love was to stay.

Sugar nights.

It's sweet, you are worried when I leave home,
It's 8 at night, it's colder in your bones.
You think you'll find my SOS soon.
It's genuine, your love your care.
It's hard to see me walk out, you stay put.
Our world has gone stir crazy,
Girls stay home scared, boys walk as our shelter.
And they are scared too.
I raise my voice, you pray I'm not noticed.
You want me alive.
It's sweet like sugar, but dark as the ocean near its bed.
You don't want me on papers.
You don't want me below six feet.


Clouds, stars, you count seconds like minutes.
Are you hurt or scared?
I'm almost home, you're almost alive.
It's funny how our world keeps us beating down every emotion.
Will you love me most?
I miss watching sunstes by the mountain.
I miss walking out for a fresh breeze when the times get rough.
For all those birds i don't see anymore,
I dont want walls, i want picket fences.

But who am i to ask for anything?
My freedoms been reduced to criterias on a paper.
I wonder when I'll be able to see my family, or my friend her's.
Whether she prays for their long life or life atleast.
It's scary as the nights, bittersweet dreams.
My world is no longer mine.
I'll find a new home,
What about the other million then?
I miss the suagr nights. 

Burn.

Should we break a wall,
Bruise our souls and walk through fire to be loved differently than last time.
Why do i see you different at heart but hurt the same?
Do you love yourself or are you searching for that within me?
I've seen your heart and you deserve heaven,
I've seen your eyes and you deserve peace.
Look at me and tell me you believe the same for me.
Because you told me you love me to let me feel safe, safer.
Its beautiful when we hold each other,
Its tough to be apart.
And you seem to forget that I'm not going anywhere.
But i like you scared of losing me.
Then why are you losing me now?
There was never a story in any books that taught us how to strive through hard times.
I'd burn this whole house down tonight.
And I'd leave with you and be alone in days i dont want to.
But if it's love that we need,
We've got to bruise a little out of love.
Its in our hands to choose,
To be hurt for love or because of love.

Ripped.

And I want to know what drink makes you happy,

How many pills you need to forget my name.

Or what song makes you want to love me,

Just to let go of it tomorrow.

Tonight we are ripped off of our luxuries,

We’re left sober and we don’t know why we are high.

Skipped breakfast to feel a little more alive,

Until we hurt our ribs as they tear our flesh apart.

It’s anorexic when we show our bones, shine through this skin,

But dramatic when we show feelings?

Darling, be real.

If you are ripped, you are a masterpiece on the run,

Ironically beautiful at the broken places, stronger than the stitches.

That little girl in the bathroom sink,

With bloodshot eyes and a frail smile.

Like constellations made mundane, how she was brave enough to be quiet.

Just to not hurt the ones she loves the most,

Like an undone story. Love, love her.

Love me. Like her fine hair,

All tangled and falling on her shoulder. Blinding the sun from her eyes.

Did she know I loved her? Did someone tell her she should love herself?

Sipping coffee, in her striped cardigan, at my table.

Her fingers were thin and always moving,

She always had something to write, to tell.

Every armour of mine was stripped,

She touched me and I knew there would be history,

Like art that cannot be trapped in a museum.

She left me, in my home.

And her bed lay empty and I never waited on her.

Because I never waited for her when I met her,

So why would I when she has ripped herself apart from me in this world?

You.

.......

I read your letters, every one of them.

The last the most, because I keep searching for your goodbye,

In words, lines and different languages.

The ink fades, your voice louder than before.

My hands, trembling, wine on the floor.

Whine in the bathroom, crying in the party.

Phone in my hand, voicemail empty.

Like how you tried to leave me, in my black dress and your blue suit,

My heels, your diamonds.

Still rummaging my brain for your goodbye,

And suddenly I stopped,

To listen, and then I realized,

You never said hello to begin with.

Promises.

I never told you I'd stay, but i promised to love.
And you told me you wouldn't let go but somehow you kept your word.
So tell me how we are miles apart still,
When we used to be so close like fingertips,
Crossed fingers or trusted falls.
We were flares that didn't die down in depths to bury
The galaxies that behold the gracious tragedies.
Humans turned ghosts even when they were lying on the same bed,
And we wouldn't be.
Like water that never gets touched twice,
You heart and my tears.
And you,
Oh you of all the ones I hold so close,
Why is it so hard to say goodbyes and hi to you?


I know love is something that flows in tears and echoes in laughter,
Bridges made in families, falling and burning
Just because you went away to be okay.
This is also love,
Because we want to be tended to, fallen for,
Mundane things always got the better of our race.
Somehow we dodged bullets and endings,
We didn't even start to write our fights
So tell me how can I let go of something I dream of to make a home?
Like lanterns that stay hovering, and we keep wanting to bring them down.
Love, are you my blood or my soul?

I'm wandering and you are hurting.
I know you wanted me to be the one i used to be.
But my dreams lie far out of my comfort amd for that,
I have changed the darkness inside me.
But oh my,
The love you have poured into my forming heart,
It has always been the same.
This is a promise I have sewed into the strings of the heart I hold.
And promises won't be broken,
Even when i have been. 

Wilderness.

Let me be, let me go far away from your expectations,
only to dismantle your beliefs about me.
From accusations to assumptions that have made my eyes run red.
and comments to labels that has made me lose my breath.
Wondering where i went wrong, or where i went right to myself.
to hurt you so bad to see me change, or be indifferent
as you would not have liked me to be.
When I was thirteen and i was smiling,
with just enough laughter, not to go out of hand or your lines.
When I vandalised what you planned for me,
only to be coarse with my words.
Yet i wrote so peacefully,
so why would you change on me?

Let me break, fall apart and still trust to fall back into your arms,
you don't have to earn this,
I'm always a piece of you, even if I am not in reality.
like the morning sun i barely see,
but the moon i'll always love beyond ocean depths and hurricane heights.
So bewildered upon the choices i make and break,
my own rules and my own mistakes.
Fighting every fibre of my being to just be atleast a glimpse of your dreams,
maybe i fought way to hard on a fleeting emotion.
Clutching my thoughts so tight as to my sleep vanishing.
Nights where i realised heroes were also lonely warriors at sea,
like the ground we bury ourselves in,
we bury our hearts sometimes way too young.

The beauty still remains in these,
for you find such a love where you fight,
even when you hurt so bad.
Yet you cannot help but feel so good, less proud some days to begin with,
but always willing to give your life up for those.
The fragility of our ribs as cages we often miss,
and sometimes this is why we let our hearts break a little too much.