A heart.

I was saved and drowned both at once,
Not knowing what I wanted was my only fear in life.
People told me do what you love but they had their own ideas for me,
And I keep thinking why am I here even?
Are they actually worried about me or their future with me?
It just seems all worked up for some virtual insanity.
So what about my dreams and my likes and my heart?
You taught me to dream but never to how to go after it,
To believe in myself was my self taught lessons in life.

So if u see me standing out of the crowd it's just because I believed in myself and you didn't.
If you see me run and stop for another glance,
I have freed myself tonight.
I never wanted anything but to be me,
And somehow the worldly conceptions tore me apart.
I was left with a dilemma each night to battle with.
Have no one to tell me I'm fine for now.
I never wanted anything more than all this,
But somehow you had your own ideas about me,
Which was not actually me.

So if I'm a stranger now by words, I'm sorry.
But it's just how I have grown up to be,
For all I wanted is to be what my heart possessed.
And now that I am with my dreams I finally want to scream it all out,
To smile to sleep, and not need a pillow around my arms.
I'd still feel at home with you,
I didn't go away to learn to hate but to respire,
To understand and to be alive,
For all I know this world is what I want it to be,
It's never going to be some written down hypocrisy,
Rather a story I might write down.

I've seen my part of world and now I need to fly,
This will be my home,
But I'm afraid I might not settle down and clip my wings again.
For a heart has reasons that not even distance can change.
For a heart is what it is,
A place to believe , a place to dream.

Seas And cloud

They world seems grey and anxious tonight.

It's almost like that deep end of the sea.

And her eyes keep tearing up, swollen in the middle of the night.

She doesn't like dreaming anymore,

All she craves for is closure, a little bit of understanding.

Her suffocated feelings are back in her throat.

She feels guilty for something she never did or thought of.

Like it's all her fault now. How can that be ,when she only wanted the best for all?

They don't ask her the real reasons anymore.

The critiques are still in her mind, haunting every bit of her happy days.

She doesn't know how to solve this problem,

How could she possibly?

Because all she was taught was some bunch of words strung together and termed theory.

She wanted to write it all out, but where other than her own heart?

She seemed so confused yet so torn in between all these chaos.

If only she knew that this wasn't permanent.

Now she looks at those old photographs,

The ones that hold her smiles, she takes it closer to her heart wishing she could be replaying it all.

Some frozen hearts cannot be thawed.

She knew exactly what she wanted,

She wanted to let go, she wanted to run nowhere.

So she left what was her home, she turned back for one last glance,

No, there wasn't a time she hated this place,

But she knew she had to get away.

Now she knew her way, she is up above the clouds.

And all those days when she cried and no one seemed to look into her eyes,

They were letting go of her mind,

So now she knows her heart and she has fallen in love with herself again,

With her life.

Beauty, its you.

She still sung me lullabies even when I was 17.
Her hands on my forehead were my reassurance that no nightmares can haunt my sleep.
Her smile was the beauty I never could paint.
And her eyes were the seas that never dried up.
She used to cry when she was tired of staying strong,
Yet she always came up with a blow,
She was a my one and only backup.
A true friend to begin with.

Her I have hurted a lot,
And how she saw past it all and loved me a lot.
To have her is my true blessing.
She taught me about my God.
Took me closer to my own heart.
Told me it's okay to have wild eyes and crazy dreams.
To be her daughter is my favorite fairytale come true.

Thank you mom for all the priceless things you have given me,
The love , the care, the warmth.
Thank you for praying for me,
To keep you cherished is one of my dreams.
You're the one who has loved me even in my darkest times.
You told me what life is and what is the hereafter.

You're the one I fear to lose,
For I know I cannot find your heart anywhere else.

The sea in your eyes.

Surely you hold magic in those depths,
And mostly you know what I hold in my thoughts.
So when you are taking your last deep breath,
I hope you remember the time we laughed like kids.
The days when we planned about the future though we had no clue about our tomorrows.
The time when we felt the rain while others ran for shelter,
The day when you realized you have a stoop and you need a wall to lean onto.
And the day you understood my reason for having faith.

So when you dream about a garden I hope I am the one who planted the flowers.
And when you look at the night sky I wish for you to see the light in your mind.
When the thunder hits I hope you clutch my hand tighter.
The way you smile is my favorite photograph.
So when I leave for the hereafter ,
I need to know you'll still be strong.
That you'll think of the lightning as my own soul.


I'll leave this world behind,
But you'll have a piece of me all the time.
For what is our friendship I still don't know,
But you knew me more than I used to do.
Your my piece of art, which heaven had made.

Those words.

He had a big heart and a soft one to be true,
He could only love and his anger only proved it to be more correct.
And he sacrificed his worldly pleasures for the ones he loved.
He was a man of his words.
He could joke all night, laugh to everything.
He knew everything except how to hide his heavy heart.
For his eyes betrayed him, his voice shattered his mask.
He was a man with an army he called family.

He showed no signs of regrets.
He loved his God so much,
With it he brought his family close to heaven.
He might not look all perfect, yet his flaws are a story to be read.
He never cried yet he always felt the pain.
He is handsome in his own way.

No wonder I adore him so much.
So does the rest of his family,
For when you feel and know his heart,
You'd never want to lose him to anyone, and even death.
So here I write all my love for my father.
My true knight in shining armor.
He has protected me through my storms,
He has loved us all.
His heart is what I admire.
For my dad will always top my chart of gentlemen.
He is the soul that burns to keep us warm.

Know this now, all of us,
Our fathers have done more than they could
They have given us everything.
So to thank him is just a small part
But to love him is the most important one.

Future of our past.

You are not in my mind anymore,
You've taken my soul to the depths where I thought I would drown.
You showed me the secrets to myself,
And hence I went alone in my own way.
Looking back I seem to have no way back, only towards the sun do I find my heart yearn.
Those eyes that peered through the darkness and left a burning in my bones.
The pair of eyes that dreamed awake,
The one who stayed up late to make no plans.

Is it soaking in tears now?
Oh when did you think you could turn away?
Did you forget about your dreams and crazy plans?
Or is it me who has become tired and not my eyes?
So won't you take another step with me?
Renew our promise and make a new wish?

So our heartbeats are the same tonight.
Let's drink down all those tears.
Get high on every storm and break down every wall.
Talk about what's hidden and not what's being faked.
Let's keep the night longer and the day waiting.
Let's not escape, rather let's create another world tonight

You can keep me but I'm always on the brink of life.
So if you're ready to fight some storms and to climb some hills,
I'd take you as my risk for eternity.
For I need a soul that needs no explaining to understand mine.
So my past is yours now.
But my future is not yet created, so you won't get any trailer.
Now tell me are you ready to make a future without any past to cling onto?

Ruins of another dream

Promises are mere words out in the air,
and dreams are like no other mysteries that keep us wanting.
So sugar coating your lies won't help you tonight,
I'm leaving before you wake up tomorrow.
Clear skies or not I'll hold an umbrella,
Twist and turn the ring you gave me in my fingers.
Walk home humming to myself the lullaby from my childhood.
Hoping it all to turn into ashes and hide beneath my soul.
For I need to leave here and wake up some place new.
I don't mind it being your heart,
As long as I don't have to be running from what's within those eyes,
I've had another drink to suffice my fires.

So when we are wearing down and seeing stars instead of ceilings,
Maybe you can tell me another tale to ponder upon,
To wonder what it is like to have a tear roll down my cheeks .
Yet to not know what's beating me up inside.
Closure is what you seek,
I want the essence of you to know that I can trust you.
To know what's behind those walls you so call as guards.
You have only had one thing keep you up and that's your fear.
So tonight let me wander through your maze.
If I come to you at the end of it,
Will you make me stay?