A heart.

I was saved and drowned both at once,
Not knowing what I wanted was my only fear in life.
People told me do what you love but they had their own ideas for me,
And I keep thinking why am I here even?
Are they actually worried about me or their future with me?
It just seems all worked up for some virtual insanity.
So what about my dreams and my likes and my heart?
You taught me to dream but never to how to go after it,
To believe in myself was my self taught lessons in life.

So if u see me standing out of the crowd it's just because I believed in myself and you didn't.
If you see me run and stop for another glance,
I have freed myself tonight.
I never wanted anything but to be me,
And somehow the worldly conceptions tore me apart.
I was left with a dilemma each night to battle with.
Have no one to tell me I'm fine for now.
I never wanted anything more than all this,
But somehow you had your own ideas about me,
Which was not actually me.

So if I'm a stranger now by words, I'm sorry.
But it's just how I have grown up to be,
For all I wanted is to be what my heart possessed.
And now that I am with my dreams I finally want to scream it all out,
To smile to sleep, and not need a pillow around my arms.
I'd still feel at home with you,
I didn't go away to learn to hate but to respire,
To understand and to be alive,
For all I know this world is what I want it to be,
It's never going to be some written down hypocrisy,
Rather a story I might write down.

I've seen my part of world and now I need to fly,
This will be my home,
But I'm afraid I might not settle down and clip my wings again.
For a heart has reasons that not even distance can change.
For a heart is what it is,
A place to believe , a place to dream.

Seas And cloud

They world seems grey and anxious tonight.

It's almost like that deep end of the sea.

And her eyes keep tearing up, swollen in the middle of the night.

She doesn't like dreaming anymore,

All she craves for is closure, a little bit of understanding.

Her suffocated feelings are back in her throat.

She feels guilty for something she never did or thought of.

Like it's all her fault now. How can that be ,when she only wanted the best for all?

They don't ask her the real reasons anymore.

The critiques are still in her mind, haunting every bit of her happy days.

She doesn't know how to solve this problem,

How could she possibly?

Because all she was taught was some bunch of words strung together and termed theory.

She wanted to write it all out, but where other than her own heart?

She seemed so confused yet so torn in between all these chaos.

If only she knew that this wasn't permanent.

Now she looks at those old photographs,

The ones that hold her smiles, she takes it closer to her heart wishing she could be replaying it all.

Some frozen hearts cannot be thawed.

She knew exactly what she wanted,

She wanted to let go, she wanted to run nowhere.

So she left what was her home, she turned back for one last glance,

No, there wasn't a time she hated this place,

But she knew she had to get away.

Now she knew her way, she is up above the clouds.

And all those days when she cried and no one seemed to look into her eyes,

They were letting go of her mind,

So now she knows her heart and she has fallen in love with herself again,

With her life.