Myself.

Lately I have stopped being quiet,

Because I have seen and heard things I have not told you yet.

I’ve been alone in my darkest pits,

I’ve been broken in my happiest moments.

And I saw who cared and who hadn’t, and I saw myself.

The dark side and the bright side and the one in between.

I saw my labels float the empty space in my head,

Lighting up all my memories and I have searched for the good ones.

I saw I have been myself, 

And you have been everything you are not.

So I’m the wolf and you are the hunter.

Ever since my mind has been able to write and my heart to feel the words,

I have been telling the papers who I am,

The people, well they can see it in my eyes.

And sometimes I’m so messed up in my own world, where you don’t see any meaning.

Like every other human, I have been different in the most insane way,.

And today is no more different than the days I have been slashed with words.

Every drop of water from the shower, 

The black and white films,

I’d still remember the liars and the haters, and the lovers before them.

The ones who knew nothing but told the opposite.

I’ll be the wolf hunting the hunter.

Lygophiliac, you can call me,

But I’d still be in the sunlight, with my eyes set on you.

I’ll defy the same things you carved into my head.

I’ll stitch my own wounds,I have done that already.

I’ll sneak into the terrace again, walk on the ledge, fall, if I have to.

I’m in your head.

Delicate as my own finger nails,

Blue bathtubs and black tiles,

You don’t know me, but I’ll let you.

I’ll let you try, because I know you want to.

You don’t know my dreams, the plans in my head.

My mirror, I wrote on the walls, I wrote in red.

I wore black but I was dressed in white.

I’ll choke myself but I won’t change my life,

I won’t hid my slashed wrists,

I will tell you the reasons and I’ll anticipate your answers.

Yet I knew what it was,

I was the one you were afraid to have and lose.

Twisted, so is fate.

I want to own this record,

I want myself.

Collide.

I’ll be the wave and you be my rock,
Watch me crash into you like perfection meet flaws.
Touch me and burn in your dreams a million stars that fall out of my skin,
You’ll never be alone once you’ve seen the sky in my veins.
Like the fire in ice, colder than the queen that was vile,
I was not a match, I was beyond comparison.
Yet you knew very well about my mysteries,
Still you chose to be left with something at the end of our story.
The messed room and short hair,
I knew I found a galaxy to be lost in.

I let you collide, through my imperfect life.
Pictures at the edge of every sheet,
Words that couldn’t be drowned in water.
My slashed wrist and your stitches,
We made hypocrites be jealous,
Hysterically, I was afraid to let go now.
The strings of your guitar, the sound of the wind.
Same as the days when we were just innocent faces.
The nights when I slept in between my mother’s arms,
And my dad’s hand over my head.
And now I lie here in a bed new to me,
All by myself yet I feel safe the same way.

And I craved the street foods, the baggy clothes,
Black nail paint, and closed doors,
Silence is not my obvious goal.
Let me meddle with your head for you are too naive in my world.
Let me scare the fear out of you,
So I can drown with you as my words float into the oblivion.
I’ll be the dream you weren’t afraid to chase.
I’ll be the pillow that you suffocate.
So that you can be my only daemon, whom I cannot tame.

And my mirror will be clean and yours will be red,
Don’t fret, we can paint it over again.
It’s the soul of the society that will be charcoal.
Let’s use it to pave our way,
Tread upon the bliss we aren’t blind about.
Take with us the ones that have the same roaring in their talks.
I’ll walk away when I know you are strong enough,
Yet I’ll always be there, but you won’t see me,
For I’ll be myself and you’ll be you.
It might take us time to collide back into our dimension.
Till then,
I love my heart.