Fairytale.

I was a word until you told me I was phrases.
I wanted mountains to climb,
Until you told me there were seas to dive.
And you, you thought of me so different.
You wrote poems about me being broken but beautiful.
We talked about hysterical movies and you never knew I was one of them.
You told me about your phobia like it was some kind of song,
And you were mine.
I told you that I was an astrophile,
But you said you never saw me look at the sky.
And the answer was right in front of my eyes.

We walked on empty streets,
Carved our names into old trees.
You told me we were forever and I knew I was going to believe you,
Even if you were leaving.
And like every damsel in distress you knew, you didn't know me good.
You thought I would stay awake in the thought of you.
Falling asleep when the sun burns through my eye.
When water burns my skin,
When the dimples on the bottom of my spine won't be my favorite flaw.
But you never thought these roles would be reversed.

And yes we didn't mean for this.
We were just like the fire that never wanted to die.
But you've become the smoke in my dreams,
And the ash from your fags,
Like gasoline that burned the water,
Your shirt that you left behind.
The regrets that burned your skin when you walked out.
The stories you told me about happy endings.
You never wanted one of them.

And though none of this reminds you of how we used to be,
I don't blame you,
None of this was us,
This would have been us if we had found each other in a parallel universe,
Because life isn't so unfair,
Because you never walked away.
You stayed even for the dark parts.
You held my hand tighter than I could ever make words describe.
We never had any happy endings,
Because we never ended.
And maybe this part of our story won't fit in the future,
But our olden hearts and fire like love will always be something to adore.
And you'll have me and I'll have you.
We will be wild,
Yet we will be true.

And we won't correct these mistakes,
Rather we will laugh at them in our fireplace.
So here is our fairytale,
The one that came true.

Hurt.

When I was two, and rainbows were staircases for unicorns,

Life was simple, life was meant to be loved.

People never had questions at the tip of their tongues for me.

People never anticipated anything.

They talked gibberish to match me,

I wasn't making any memories for myself.

All I did was what babies do.

All I knew were words strung together to make less of a sentence and more of noises.

When I was two,

I was the happiest and so were you.

When I was six, and I had only one best friend.

Whose house was mine and whose mother was my friend too.

We tied pigtails and played board games.

We shared chocolates and and chips,

When all we could talk about were avengers movies.

When dressing up was funny.

When rumors and gossips were just words in the dictionary for us.

Those were the times when we would say forever not knowing what it was.

When promises were sacred.

When I was ten, I moved to another country.

I lost my best friend, I made new ones.

They were more like family.

When I was fourteen, reality became two faced,

And memories stayed permanently,

When forever made sense to me.

The times when promises were being broken so quickly,

Hearts were being played with.

The time when nobody warned us about getting hurt so deep.

When nobody reassured we are worthy.

So I slashed my arm, not once but twice, to prove my worth.

To show I can be loved.

But never did I know I was losing my self love while doing so.

When I was fifteen and free.

When words didn't carve my heart so deep,

The time when I forgave myself for the mistakes,

The time when I realized I was not hurting anymore.

So I loved my scars and my imperfect self.

I was not completely devoid of my daemons, nor was I blind to my beauty,

Pouring into these papers,

And the concept of beauty wasn't so negative,

It was seldom seen and held by so little because nobody looks for it at the correct place.

So I've got two families now,

One by blood and one by heart.

Made out of love these both,

When being broken was okay as long as you had the humility to ask for help when you needed.

I was fifteen and someone I had always dreamed to be.

Now I am here, younger than few I know.

Still falling and breaking bones,

But here I am, being the dream you never thought I would chase.

The girl who didn't know how to love herself,

The girl who was once broken.

Made peace with her past,

And now she is busy falling in love with herself.

With her heart open. 

The hurt, the pain,

It all comes together at the end.

The love, the smiles, 

We all need them forever.