Why is that I hear a scream every time you say that name?
I remember the old forsaken ways, the empty houses with people.
I remember the old happy days being replaced with new ones that make me faint and drift away.
Oblivion and infinity intertwine in my words,
Love and hate being compared and chosen from.
Clarity over fights that never made it's way into reality.
Why did you fight? If you only intended to end it anyway?
How come you never warned me I was going to be the fool,
How come you let this happen to me when I believed in happy endings?
And I swear, I heard my lungs collapsing, my mouth quivering,
At the very sight of your shadow over my new life.
I don't know what to say when I see your graceful face,
I know the demonic blisters underneath your silver smooth skin.
I screamed and I remember it now,
Those voices in my head were mine and you told me it was illusions.
And now you are back to make sure I am one too.
Then I run, I run and crash into you.
Rip you off from your infamous prestige,
The way you ripped me off of my humanity.
When the love stories seemed to burn in my tongue,
Happy endings that were torn apart from my eyes.
I was drowning in air,
Like it was salty water I had just inhaled, back then
Or why else would I wake up with pale blue skin.
"Have some faith. " , he said.
Back then.
While his flaming eyes of ego etched my brain of a nightmare.
While I lied there draped in white,
Draped in white, and under my skin
Blood ran cold and the casket was going in.
But you threw my world into a hurricane and watched it from the eye.
And you told me I was going to live trapped inside this feeling of never being safe.
Of eyes that will rip me more off of myself.
But now that I am saw and away,
I don't remember a help that came.
I don't remember people listening to me speak in vain.
And I remember laughter that subdued my screams.
Back then, things were never easy to be the same.
And now I am here and you are nothing more than a nightmare.
And one day I'll never have you hanging over my life again.
One day.
Imagine if this was an eulogy of a seventeen year old.
Would you cry or be her?
Would you wonder if you could have changed the world for her.
I remember the old forsaken ways, the empty houses with people.
I remember the old happy days being replaced with new ones that make me faint and drift away.
Oblivion and infinity intertwine in my words,
Love and hate being compared and chosen from.
Clarity over fights that never made it's way into reality.
Why did you fight? If you only intended to end it anyway?
How come you never warned me I was going to be the fool,
How come you let this happen to me when I believed in happy endings?
And I swear, I heard my lungs collapsing, my mouth quivering,
At the very sight of your shadow over my new life.
I don't know what to say when I see your graceful face,
I know the demonic blisters underneath your silver smooth skin.
I screamed and I remember it now,
Those voices in my head were mine and you told me it was illusions.
And now you are back to make sure I am one too.
Then I run, I run and crash into you.
Rip you off from your infamous prestige,
The way you ripped me off of my humanity.
When the love stories seemed to burn in my tongue,
Happy endings that were torn apart from my eyes.
I was drowning in air,
Like it was salty water I had just inhaled, back then
Or why else would I wake up with pale blue skin.
"Have some faith. " , he said.
Back then.
While his flaming eyes of ego etched my brain of a nightmare.
While I lied there draped in white,
Draped in white, and under my skin
Blood ran cold and the casket was going in.
But you threw my world into a hurricane and watched it from the eye.
And you told me I was going to live trapped inside this feeling of never being safe.
Of eyes that will rip me more off of myself.
But now that I am saw and away,
I don't remember a help that came.
I don't remember people listening to me speak in vain.
And I remember laughter that subdued my screams.
Back then, things were never easy to be the same.
And now I am here and you are nothing more than a nightmare.
And one day I'll never have you hanging over my life again.
One day.
Imagine if this was an eulogy of a seventeen year old.
Would you cry or be her?
Would you wonder if you could have changed the world for her.
