Walk away.

Walk away,
Walk away if you need to,
From the green grassy earth to the barren one.
From the home you’ve built to the one you only dreamed about .
From the sun to the moon.
Walk away if you have to.
But don’t walk upon me,
I’m not your trek road nor your trademark.
I’m not you or the one you wanted me to be.
I do not need you any longer or your validation.
You’ve used up all my grace and now you’ve got nothing on me.
Nothing chaining me to you.

I’m not your trophy nor your disposal.
My hair is not your clutch purse,
My hands no longer yours to grab.
My face never your punching bag again.
You are not my sanctum,
The ring no longer my circle.
I won’t run from you or for you.
I’ll fight, I’ll scream,I’ll raise my hand, my voice.
You’ll see the demon in my eyes,
I’m never letting it die again.
I’ll make my ground , throw away your drawers
The memories or pain won’t keep me awake.
I’ll sleep in my bed, not being afraid of shadows.

My skin will be happy, it will never be blue again.
My bedroom floor will be empty,
Not your clothes or my shattered body will lie there again.
You won’t come back.
Even if you do, you won’t see me.
There will no longer be broken mirrors,
No more torn clothes.
I’ll walk away, away from the love which wasn’t love.
I’ll walk away.
I’ll leave for a better chance.
I’ll stay alive and safe, far away in a home I wanted.
Your empty promises will be in my past.
A past I’ll never let another have.

We can walk away.
Away from the trash and torture.
We won’t run for a second,
We’ll fight every biased mind and fight every blame.
We’ll stay strong and we’ll stay safe.
Because I did, so you can do the same.
For our daughters and mothers and sisters,
For the ones who never had the chance to say a word.
Without being framed.

Let’s walk away with every broken piece and left over dignity .
With hopes that still beat feverishly.
You and me, we can fight to walk away,
We no longer have to stay. 

Hysterics.

Beauty is seldom seen and held by the very few,
Yet it’s been boasted about by the millions that tread this planet.
Shining bright like that rusted stone,
We hold a piece of every soul that have made its way into our lives.
Though we may not know what we possess,
We seem to know what we do not want.
For our minds are our battlefield
And the voices inside our head are not what they seem to be.

You asked me for my patience and you gave me anarchy.
The world I knew was fading and now all that remains are ruins.
Trying to remember what a memory looks like.
Knowing what’s wrong yet I do not wish to move .
A million things going wrong, but everything feels so right.
A hundred feet I fall and I learned to fly high.
I lean into your scars and see how immaculate they are.

We were ready to break the air for the things we loved,
Now we burn our bones and keep the love warm.
We seem to love what we have realized.
And you look like you’ve forgotten your ways which haunt your days.
You seem to live like a story that makes me rush.
Your hands intertwined in my thoughts.
Keeping me alive with the things that run wild and free.
Your promises like a book that’s been reread by my soul.

You are another hypothesis bidding me a new adventure,
And I am your favorite hysteric.

Him and I.

"Do you think people really change? "
He asked me in between the cracking of our call.
And I fell through my memory lane.
It was a hard [thud] fall and not a stroll.
The dreaded nights and happy mornings.
Goodbyes over hot coffees, lunch with nobody.
Music with no symphony, lullabies that never made me sleepy.
The torn books, stained shirts.
Stitches and blood on the bathtubs.
The love,  the friends, the strangers in the middle of the conversation at 2 am.
The movies I binge watched.
The eyeliner that covered up my sleepless eyes.
Long shirts and funny socks.
Plans and trips we only talked about.
Dreams and virtues that we're written down.
Faith that wouldn't drown.
Sins we tried to forgive ourselves for.
Lovers that were lessons.
Treasures that was only on top of the misery.
Greed that turned his heart to stone.
Fame that changed a brother to a photograph.

Hallways where our laughter still echo.
Lunchboxes that were filled with magic in our mouth.
Houses we lived across.
Lives we never touched upon.

I was brought back to reality with his clear voice.
And all I could say was
"We do in papers and stories. We try in real life. "
I glanced at the ring on my finger.
The promise of change and what-nots.
For a greater understanding that lies in my heart.
A buried question I was not afraid to ask anymore.
"Would you want me to change? "
And I realized that I wasn't afraid of the question but the answer.
I regretted every second after.
Then all I remember is the vow he made over my silence
"Not even in our darkest days.  I'd want you to stay the same for the eternity you write about. "
I woke up hearing that on repeat everyday then.

Maybe we don't change.
So we don't have to ask anyone else to either.
And then do not compare change to betterment,
It never was the same to begin with.