Myself.

Lately I have stopped being quiet,

Because I have seen and heard things I have not told you yet.

I’ve been alone in my darkest pits,

I’ve been broken in my happiest moments.

And I saw who cared and who hadn’t, and I saw myself.

The dark side and the bright side and the one in between.

I saw my labels float the empty space in my head,

Lighting up all my memories and I have searched for the good ones.

I saw I have been myself, 

And you have been everything you are not.

So I’m the wolf and you are the hunter.

Ever since my mind has been able to write and my heart to feel the words,

I have been telling the papers who I am,

The people, well they can see it in my eyes.

And sometimes I’m so messed up in my own world, where you don’t see any meaning.

Like every other human, I have been different in the most insane way,.

And today is no more different than the days I have been slashed with words.

Every drop of water from the shower, 

The black and white films,

I’d still remember the liars and the haters, and the lovers before them.

The ones who knew nothing but told the opposite.

I’ll be the wolf hunting the hunter.

Lygophiliac, you can call me,

But I’d still be in the sunlight, with my eyes set on you.

I’ll defy the same things you carved into my head.

I’ll stitch my own wounds,I have done that already.

I’ll sneak into the terrace again, walk on the ledge, fall, if I have to.

I’m in your head.

Delicate as my own finger nails,

Blue bathtubs and black tiles,

You don’t know me, but I’ll let you.

I’ll let you try, because I know you want to.

You don’t know my dreams, the plans in my head.

My mirror, I wrote on the walls, I wrote in red.

I wore black but I was dressed in white.

I’ll choke myself but I won’t change my life,

I won’t hid my slashed wrists,

I will tell you the reasons and I’ll anticipate your answers.

Yet I knew what it was,

I was the one you were afraid to have and lose.

Twisted, so is fate.

I want to own this record,

I want myself.

Collide.

I’ll be the wave and you be my rock,
Watch me crash into you like perfection meet flaws.
Touch me and burn in your dreams a million stars that fall out of my skin,
You’ll never be alone once you’ve seen the sky in my veins.
Like the fire in ice, colder than the queen that was vile,
I was not a match, I was beyond comparison.
Yet you knew very well about my mysteries,
Still you chose to be left with something at the end of our story.
The messed room and short hair,
I knew I found a galaxy to be lost in.

I let you collide, through my imperfect life.
Pictures at the edge of every sheet,
Words that couldn’t be drowned in water.
My slashed wrist and your stitches,
We made hypocrites be jealous,
Hysterically, I was afraid to let go now.
The strings of your guitar, the sound of the wind.
Same as the days when we were just innocent faces.
The nights when I slept in between my mother’s arms,
And my dad’s hand over my head.
And now I lie here in a bed new to me,
All by myself yet I feel safe the same way.

And I craved the street foods, the baggy clothes,
Black nail paint, and closed doors,
Silence is not my obvious goal.
Let me meddle with your head for you are too naive in my world.
Let me scare the fear out of you,
So I can drown with you as my words float into the oblivion.
I’ll be the dream you weren’t afraid to chase.
I’ll be the pillow that you suffocate.
So that you can be my only daemon, whom I cannot tame.

And my mirror will be clean and yours will be red,
Don’t fret, we can paint it over again.
It’s the soul of the society that will be charcoal.
Let’s use it to pave our way,
Tread upon the bliss we aren’t blind about.
Take with us the ones that have the same roaring in their talks.
I’ll walk away when I know you are strong enough,
Yet I’ll always be there, but you won’t see me,
For I’ll be myself and you’ll be you.
It might take us time to collide back into our dimension.
Till then,
I love my heart.

Reasons.

I played it all too far,
Holding on to something I knew.
And not only that but I cried my tears a river,
But u didn't know anything about me.
So I gave it to you, my heart, my love.
And you told I was too young to be broken like glass.
Yet you wanted me like ghosts wanted souls.
We had an empty room,
We painted it black and blue,
You came home with pictures and food,
I never knew to cook.
And you never bothered to think why.

We forget about the time,
We wake up messed and young.
The nights are our favorite but you started to love the sun.
I hid under the blankets,
Waiting for you to find me.
You told me stories and I told you sorry for the distorted ways.
We wed under the lights,
You put up stars in the sky.
We had a ceiling and a bunch of clothes,
We had enough money to be on the run.

And we'd never talk about leaving each other,
We had too many memories to make and remember.
You gave me time for my own mistakes and my own happiness,
You liked my friends and called them family,
And I knew I found the right one in you.
We hang about listening to songs,
You make up your lyrics and sing them when we are alone.
You never left me alone.
And you knew me even in my silence.

Just like some reasons we never said.
We always had one another in misery and fortune.
We made our home by the mountains.
We had our own view.
We had our own reasons to live.

Fairytale.

I was a word until you told me I was phrases.
I wanted mountains to climb,
Until you told me there were seas to dive.
And you, you thought of me so different.
You wrote poems about me being broken but beautiful.
We talked about hysterical movies and you never knew I was one of them.
You told me about your phobia like it was some kind of song,
And you were mine.
I told you that I was an astrophile,
But you said you never saw me look at the sky.
And the answer was right in front of my eyes.

We walked on empty streets,
Carved our names into old trees.
You told me we were forever and I knew I was going to believe you,
Even if you were leaving.
And like every damsel in distress you knew, you didn't know me good.
You thought I would stay awake in the thought of you.
Falling asleep when the sun burns through my eye.
When water burns my skin,
When the dimples on the bottom of my spine won't be my favorite flaw.
But you never thought these roles would be reversed.

And yes we didn't mean for this.
We were just like the fire that never wanted to die.
But you've become the smoke in my dreams,
And the ash from your fags,
Like gasoline that burned the water,
Your shirt that you left behind.
The regrets that burned your skin when you walked out.
The stories you told me about happy endings.
You never wanted one of them.

And though none of this reminds you of how we used to be,
I don't blame you,
None of this was us,
This would have been us if we had found each other in a parallel universe,
Because life isn't so unfair,
Because you never walked away.
You stayed even for the dark parts.
You held my hand tighter than I could ever make words describe.
We never had any happy endings,
Because we never ended.
And maybe this part of our story won't fit in the future,
But our olden hearts and fire like love will always be something to adore.
And you'll have me and I'll have you.
We will be wild,
Yet we will be true.

And we won't correct these mistakes,
Rather we will laugh at them in our fireplace.
So here is our fairytale,
The one that came true.

Hurt.

When I was two, and rainbows were staircases for unicorns,

Life was simple, life was meant to be loved.

People never had questions at the tip of their tongues for me.

People never anticipated anything.

They talked gibberish to match me,

I wasn't making any memories for myself.

All I did was what babies do.

All I knew were words strung together to make less of a sentence and more of noises.

When I was two,

I was the happiest and so were you.

When I was six, and I had only one best friend.

Whose house was mine and whose mother was my friend too.

We tied pigtails and played board games.

We shared chocolates and and chips,

When all we could talk about were avengers movies.

When dressing up was funny.

When rumors and gossips were just words in the dictionary for us.

Those were the times when we would say forever not knowing what it was.

When promises were sacred.

When I was ten, I moved to another country.

I lost my best friend, I made new ones.

They were more like family.

When I was fourteen, reality became two faced,

And memories stayed permanently,

When forever made sense to me.

The times when promises were being broken so quickly,

Hearts were being played with.

The time when nobody warned us about getting hurt so deep.

When nobody reassured we are worthy.

So I slashed my arm, not once but twice, to prove my worth.

To show I can be loved.

But never did I know I was losing my self love while doing so.

When I was fifteen and free.

When words didn't carve my heart so deep,

The time when I forgave myself for the mistakes,

The time when I realized I was not hurting anymore.

So I loved my scars and my imperfect self.

I was not completely devoid of my daemons, nor was I blind to my beauty,

Pouring into these papers,

And the concept of beauty wasn't so negative,

It was seldom seen and held by so little because nobody looks for it at the correct place.

So I've got two families now,

One by blood and one by heart.

Made out of love these both,

When being broken was okay as long as you had the humility to ask for help when you needed.

I was fifteen and someone I had always dreamed to be.

Now I am here, younger than few I know.

Still falling and breaking bones,

But here I am, being the dream you never thought I would chase.

The girl who didn't know how to love herself,

The girl who was once broken.

Made peace with her past,

And now she is busy falling in love with herself.

With her heart open. 

The hurt, the pain,

It all comes together at the end.

The love, the smiles, 

We all need them forever.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for my grades in school,
For the way I've changed.
I'm sorry for letting you down,
For being different than what you had in mind.
I'm sorry for my flaws that makes me human,
For being irresponsible at times.
I'm sorry for being a mess,
For hiding my woes.
I'm sorry for not understanding you,
For being blind to your struggles.
I'm sorry for not keeping up to my word,
For being mundane.


But,
Thank you for not giving up on me,
For trusting me again.
Thank you for not making me feel less worthy,
For pushing me to new boundaries.
Thank you for your scoldings,
For being there for me.
Thank you for loving me,
For never leaving me at my dark times.
Thank you for giving me all you had,
For showing me there is still good left in this world.

And I've spent months sulking in,
Hours trying to catch up to  the things I left undone.
To the losses and gains,
The heart breaks and therapy sessions in my shower.
The puffy eyes and salt kissed cheeks.
The day where I realised my own fragility
The time I accepted my vulnerability.
Trying to make peace with whatever daemons I have got left.

I let my fears drive me,
I let my guard cage my heart.
And I searched for happiness in places I never wanted to be.
But my dear misguided heart never knew this until the fire I kept putting out turned into the sun.
And my mistakes were like scars of a battle,
Worn proudly without a pinch of embarrassment
My mask buried in the ground,
My stories in your head.
My name at the tip of your tongue.

And I was sure I wanted to be here,
I am sure I am where I'm supposed to be.
And I know fairy tales may not be true,
And it's alright,  because I don't want a golden carriage or a prince charming,
I want that cozy cottage and the fireplace,
And my family around me to keep me warm at heart.
And forever don't seem like such a bad idea,
So I'd like to have that too.

That diamond on her.

It's 12 am and she is finally alone,

alone with her own thoughts, with her own reflection.

She unties her hair, perfectly styled , without any split ends.

She splashes water on her face, drowns her body afterwards,

that layer of fake skin is finally off of her.

Clear water turn black as it falls of her lashes to her cheeks,

she seems to look so different, so clean.

And there she stood, watching her own face after a long day,

feeling that tinge of coolness and hoping it stays the whole night.

Hoping she could do the same tomorrow morning without doubting.

She can't handle the cold water in the shower,

her feet never stays on the floor.

She turns her bath time to her karaoke stage,

singing songs with mixed up lyrics and not making any sense.

Looking at the mirror, smiling as if she has never had a heartbreak,

her crooked teeth show up, and she snorts while she laughs at herself.

Isn't it so beautiful, seeing her love her own self?

The worst disguise has gone down the drain,
Her freckled skin and the dimples at the bottom of her spine,

little things turned beautiful in time.

Her sorrows and regrets don't stand a chance.

She has changed and become better far too long ago.

Never listen to these strange sayings,

the superstitious lady across her hall,

the man who laughed at her when she failed to retort.

Then there is her mother, the one with whom she could never have any disputes.

Her father, her knight in shining armor, never letting harm find her.

Her sister, with whom she fought, whom she could not live without.

And this home, where everything was born, where memories clinged onto defeating time.

She was happy to have been found,

by the things she could not make sense without.

The books on which she spilled her coffee,

The photographs that were stacked in her room.

She was finally home, she was finally what her heart desired.

With the people she loved around her.

She never wore that fake skin layer,

she never saw water turn black on her cheeks again.

She never worried about the sayings.

She wore her skin and got kissed by the sun.

Turned grey in her own house,

listened to songs that she had wrote long back,

She was with her family, by blood and by heart.

and that smile, oh my, that smile looks like diamond on her.

She is you, she is me,

She is every girl on this planet, and maybe beyond.

And she looks beautiful in her own skin, she looks like herself without any layers on.

She looks like the girl who loves herself forever more.

So...is this?

So I'm turning seventeen soon, but it's just a number.
And I don't know why just the past three years are different than any other.
Why sixteen is called sweet sixteen?
Isn't every year different with its own twists and plots?
And I am not sure if I want to freeze the time or go back in it.
No, I have travelled past it by now.
But I still love the smell of old library books and black tea in the rain.
With all these rhetorical and sophisticated questions people throw at me
Even the simplest phrases gets complicated.
So is this about going back?

And all these slang, foul words and abbreviations created everyday,
Looks like people are forgetting to spell.
And the efforts of a teenager to fit in is so devastating,
Because in reality, she was made to stand out of the crowd.
Pity, isn't it?
That we don't realise how good we truly are deep inside rather than this mirrored face.
These classes gets so boring,
How come school never teaches us what it is to live like ourselves?
So is this about change?

High school has both ups and downs,
We need more shows like "13 reasons why" and less dramas.
High school is where you are supposed to make memories and not tragedies.
The laughter we share with our loved ones walking through the hallway,
Being ourselves and not labelling any other human being.
That's where we start doing good, even to ourselves.
The extroverts have their own lonely days.
The wallflower is actually a person with crazy dreams.
So is this about the prejudice?

This,my dear world, is teenage at its own design.
At least for me it is.
And sometimes it's okay to stand out.
It's okay to feel uncertain about your own feelings,
It's okay to question yourself.
It's better than regretting having made a decision that changed your life in a way you never really wanted.
It's better to be heard for good than for something you would want to take back.
Because we haven't even found out who we are, truly.
What magic we hold is still a mystery.
We are not there yet. I know I am not.

So, seventeen or any other number, it's just a number that goes up by one every 365 days after the day of our birth.
But, the feelings, the thoughts and the experiences,
That marks our age.
That shows us how much we have grown, how much we have lived.

More than this.

She flipped her hair, walked poised and had a pretty smile.
She knew everything and nothing all at once,
She thought there was an escape from this.
She wore make up to hide her puffy eyes,
She screamed in pure silence deep inside her head.
She thought of the times she lay awake,
Dreaming galaxies apart, gleaming into the night sky.
She had to run she knew. These voices were just absurd.
She took her classes and listened to everything.
She was told by someone that things aren't exactly how it looks.
She wanted to believe things will change,
So she did.

She believed in simple things and a simple heart.
Maybe that's why nobody understood her.
Maybe that's why her spoken words were never justified.
That's the root cause for why nobody ever wanted to listen to her
Maybe she might run now,
She might disappear into another dimension.
Where people don't judge,
Where love is not measured or marked down with mistakes.
Or maybe this is all another plan of her unknown dreams.

She carved her heart on pages and wrote her way into solitude.
She started to change, to be free of those demons.

She couldn't understand these noices and chaos,
She didn't know whether she should try or just leave it all.
She was so confused with these familiar faces,
She was in doubt, she didn't call this home now,
They look at her like she is a masterpiece though her edges are torn apart.
She held apathy to these materials, to these hypocrites.
Her cage was left open tonight.
This is a battle we all have fought.
I never knew what this was.
That little girl who knew nothing but simple things seems to be a faded memory now.
She has changed a lot and by far.

She slept without a blanket now,
She stared deep into the blackness.
She fought everything and everyone, she fought herself too.
They all remembered her now,
The close ones and far ones apart, she was no longer home.
She was what you call a thesis,
But she slept peacefully somewhere in the globe now,
She was home, she was herself.
The sixteen year old who had a deep heart.

She was no longer scared, she no longer needed validation.
She no longer dreamed of this heavenly place,
She was finally here tonight.

No, you won't know.

So it goes somewhat like this,
It happened once long ago and here we are digging it up all over again.
It was sweet words and long nights with fairytales.
Then it all turned bittersweet and twist of fate.
So yes, this is how every story goes now.
Like every heart has a story waiting to be told.
Why? How come you don't look at yourself anymore?
No, not in a mirror but through your mind.
Your soul isn't what it used to be before.

I used to hold your hand and think it was safe.
Like your grip is made out of iron and no hurricane can take me away.
But now I'm not sure, I'm not sure.
Why did you let me change my views about you?
Is this how we grow? Is this the way I'm going to lose my childhood dreams?
I don't need the Cinderella stories to come true but just you.
I don't need your sugarcoated words but just those eyes to have that shine.
For you may not know,
But this means something special.
This is what I'm in love with.

Could you stay the night? Not because it's cold.
But because I'm scared you might lose your way.
You're my shelter, you're my adventure.
You are something I haven't seen for awhile.
People may think I am wrong,
But I won't let it in between us both.
You were with me when you I was born, when I had those crazy schemes keep me awake.
I don't need anybody but your validation.

So at least now you might hear me out,
Because I'm almost close to my last breathe.
And I need to know whether you'll come with me like before, everywhere.
You are my heart, my one ,
The one whom I always carry around.
My sweet dreams.

Silence.

It's just a word, a feeling, a knowing, a situation and at times a choice.

But what does it do anyway?

How does it kill us or mend us?

Sure it's something we hear in a bus full of strangers,

In an exam hall it's what we keep,

In our sleep it's what we do.

But what is it when you are with your loved ones?

Is it just a feeling or a state of being?

How can we define it when we have so much terms related to it,

Yet all those make no sense in pure reality.

Why does it cling onto us when it's our chance to rise up.

It lives on the tip of tongue, on the very edge of our lungs.

Sure we can all overcome it but what after?

How can we describe something which actually means to keep shush?

Is it all just a written down theory held close to the logic that surrounds us,

Or is it just some kind of a fantasy we still haven't let go of?

If he knew what was his heart's desire maybe his smile would change,

If she could understand her crazy schemes,she might dream different.

But this is how it all goes down,

The free ones will be caged, clipped wings and chapped lips,

Red eyes and tear stained cheeks,

With a lot of stories hidden behind these walls.

Darling, we know we have hearts, 

So why do we act like we are run by thesis.

Because what you know is what you believe,

So why drown it with the silence.

Don't you know you are strong enough to break it?

It may be a feeling or anything else,

But it can never be you.

So how come all these years you hid you're beauty my dear?
When all you were born to do was shine.
This silence is something you can embrace and change.
It's our teenage and our olden days.
Its all our past intertwined to meet some others.
But don't let it shadow your future.

When all you need is a rude awakening to know all this or a part of this,
This silence won't be there to help you sleep anymore.
You're chaos will be your choice now, a sea to be sailed.
And you can break some bones, make some noice,
Just tell me your stories loud now.

A heart.

I was saved and drowned both at once,
Not knowing what I wanted was my only fear in life.
People told me do what you love but they had their own ideas for me,
And I keep thinking why am I here even?
Are they actually worried about me or their future with me?
It just seems all worked up for some virtual insanity.
So what about my dreams and my likes and my heart?
You taught me to dream but never to how to go after it,
To believe in myself was my self taught lessons in life.

So if u see me standing out of the crowd it's just because I believed in myself and you didn't.
If you see me run and stop for another glance,
I have freed myself tonight.
I never wanted anything but to be me,
And somehow the worldly conceptions tore me apart.
I was left with a dilemma each night to battle with.
Have no one to tell me I'm fine for now.
I never wanted anything more than all this,
But somehow you had your own ideas about me,
Which was not actually me.

So if I'm a stranger now by words, I'm sorry.
But it's just how I have grown up to be,
For all I wanted is to be what my heart possessed.
And now that I am with my dreams I finally want to scream it all out,
To smile to sleep, and not need a pillow around my arms.
I'd still feel at home with you,
I didn't go away to learn to hate but to respire,
To understand and to be alive,
For all I know this world is what I want it to be,
It's never going to be some written down hypocrisy,
Rather a story I might write down.

I've seen my part of world and now I need to fly,
This will be my home,
But I'm afraid I might not settle down and clip my wings again.
For a heart has reasons that not even distance can change.
For a heart is what it is,
A place to believe , a place to dream.

Seas And cloud

They world seems grey and anxious tonight.

It's almost like that deep end of the sea.

And her eyes keep tearing up, swollen in the middle of the night.

She doesn't like dreaming anymore,

All she craves for is closure, a little bit of understanding.

Her suffocated feelings are back in her throat.

She feels guilty for something she never did or thought of.

Like it's all her fault now. How can that be ,when she only wanted the best for all?

They don't ask her the real reasons anymore.

The critiques are still in her mind, haunting every bit of her happy days.

She doesn't know how to solve this problem,

How could she possibly?

Because all she was taught was some bunch of words strung together and termed theory.

She wanted to write it all out, but where other than her own heart?

She seemed so confused yet so torn in between all these chaos.

If only she knew that this wasn't permanent.

Now she looks at those old photographs,

The ones that hold her smiles, she takes it closer to her heart wishing she could be replaying it all.

Some frozen hearts cannot be thawed.

She knew exactly what she wanted,

She wanted to let go, she wanted to run nowhere.

So she left what was her home, she turned back for one last glance,

No, there wasn't a time she hated this place,

But she knew she had to get away.

Now she knew her way, she is up above the clouds.

And all those days when she cried and no one seemed to look into her eyes,

They were letting go of her mind,

So now she knows her heart and she has fallen in love with herself again,

With her life.

Beauty, its you.

She still sung me lullabies even when I was 17.
Her hands on my forehead were my reassurance that no nightmares can haunt my sleep.
Her smile was the beauty I never could paint.
And her eyes were the seas that never dried up.
She used to cry when she was tired of staying strong,
Yet she always came up with a blow,
She was a my one and only backup.
A true friend to begin with.

Her I have hurted a lot,
And how she saw past it all and loved me a lot.
To have her is my true blessing.
She taught me about my God.
Took me closer to my own heart.
Told me it's okay to have wild eyes and crazy dreams.
To be her daughter is my favorite fairytale come true.

Thank you mom for all the priceless things you have given me,
The love , the care, the warmth.
Thank you for praying for me,
To keep you cherished is one of my dreams.
You're the one who has loved me even in my darkest times.
You told me what life is and what is the hereafter.

You're the one I fear to lose,
For I know I cannot find your heart anywhere else.

The sea in your eyes.

Surely you hold magic in those depths,
And mostly you know what I hold in my thoughts.
So when you are taking your last deep breath,
I hope you remember the time we laughed like kids.
The days when we planned about the future though we had no clue about our tomorrows.
The time when we felt the rain while others ran for shelter,
The day when you realized you have a stoop and you need a wall to lean onto.
And the day you understood my reason for having faith.

So when you dream about a garden I hope I am the one who planted the flowers.
And when you look at the night sky I wish for you to see the light in your mind.
When the thunder hits I hope you clutch my hand tighter.
The way you smile is my favorite photograph.
So when I leave for the hereafter ,
I need to know you'll still be strong.
That you'll think of the lightning as my own soul.


I'll leave this world behind,
But you'll have a piece of me all the time.
For what is our friendship I still don't know,
But you knew me more than I used to do.
Your my piece of art, which heaven had made.

Those words.

He had a big heart and a soft one to be true,
He could only love and his anger only proved it to be more correct.
And he sacrificed his worldly pleasures for the ones he loved.
He was a man of his words.
He could joke all night, laugh to everything.
He knew everything except how to hide his heavy heart.
For his eyes betrayed him, his voice shattered his mask.
He was a man with an army he called family.

He showed no signs of regrets.
He loved his God so much,
With it he brought his family close to heaven.
He might not look all perfect, yet his flaws are a story to be read.
He never cried yet he always felt the pain.
He is handsome in his own way.

No wonder I adore him so much.
So does the rest of his family,
For when you feel and know his heart,
You'd never want to lose him to anyone, and even death.
So here I write all my love for my father.
My true knight in shining armor.
He has protected me through my storms,
He has loved us all.
His heart is what I admire.
For my dad will always top my chart of gentlemen.
He is the soul that burns to keep us warm.

Know this now, all of us,
Our fathers have done more than they could
They have given us everything.
So to thank him is just a small part
But to love him is the most important one.

Future of our past.

You are not in my mind anymore,
You've taken my soul to the depths where I thought I would drown.
You showed me the secrets to myself,
And hence I went alone in my own way.
Looking back I seem to have no way back, only towards the sun do I find my heart yearn.
Those eyes that peered through the darkness and left a burning in my bones.
The pair of eyes that dreamed awake,
The one who stayed up late to make no plans.

Is it soaking in tears now?
Oh when did you think you could turn away?
Did you forget about your dreams and crazy plans?
Or is it me who has become tired and not my eyes?
So won't you take another step with me?
Renew our promise and make a new wish?

So our heartbeats are the same tonight.
Let's drink down all those tears.
Get high on every storm and break down every wall.
Talk about what's hidden and not what's being faked.
Let's keep the night longer and the day waiting.
Let's not escape, rather let's create another world tonight

You can keep me but I'm always on the brink of life.
So if you're ready to fight some storms and to climb some hills,
I'd take you as my risk for eternity.
For I need a soul that needs no explaining to understand mine.
So my past is yours now.
But my future is not yet created, so you won't get any trailer.
Now tell me are you ready to make a future without any past to cling onto?

Ruins of another dream

Promises are mere words out in the air,
and dreams are like no other mysteries that keep us wanting.
So sugar coating your lies won't help you tonight,
I'm leaving before you wake up tomorrow.
Clear skies or not I'll hold an umbrella,
Twist and turn the ring you gave me in my fingers.
Walk home humming to myself the lullaby from my childhood.
Hoping it all to turn into ashes and hide beneath my soul.
For I need to leave here and wake up some place new.
I don't mind it being your heart,
As long as I don't have to be running from what's within those eyes,
I've had another drink to suffice my fires.

So when we are wearing down and seeing stars instead of ceilings,
Maybe you can tell me another tale to ponder upon,
To wonder what it is like to have a tear roll down my cheeks .
Yet to not know what's beating me up inside.
Closure is what you seek,
I want the essence of you to know that I can trust you.
To know what's behind those walls you so call as guards.
You have only had one thing keep you up and that's your fear.
So tonight let me wander through your maze.
If I come to you at the end of it,
Will you make me stay?