Promises.

I never told you I'd stay, but i promised to love.
And you told me you wouldn't let go but somehow you kept your word.
So tell me how we are miles apart still,
When we used to be so close like fingertips,
Crossed fingers or trusted falls.
We were flares that didn't die down in depths to bury
The galaxies that behold the gracious tragedies.
Humans turned ghosts even when they were lying on the same bed,
And we wouldn't be.
Like water that never gets touched twice,
You heart and my tears.
And you,
Oh you of all the ones I hold so close,
Why is it so hard to say goodbyes and hi to you?


I know love is something that flows in tears and echoes in laughter,
Bridges made in families, falling and burning
Just because you went away to be okay.
This is also love,
Because we want to be tended to, fallen for,
Mundane things always got the better of our race.
Somehow we dodged bullets and endings,
We didn't even start to write our fights
So tell me how can I let go of something I dream of to make a home?
Like lanterns that stay hovering, and we keep wanting to bring them down.
Love, are you my blood or my soul?

I'm wandering and you are hurting.
I know you wanted me to be the one i used to be.
But my dreams lie far out of my comfort amd for that,
I have changed the darkness inside me.
But oh my,
The love you have poured into my forming heart,
It has always been the same.
This is a promise I have sewed into the strings of the heart I hold.
And promises won't be broken,
Even when i have been. 

Wilderness.

Let me be, let me go far away from your expectations,
only to dismantle your beliefs about me.
From accusations to assumptions that have made my eyes run red.
and comments to labels that has made me lose my breath.
Wondering where i went wrong, or where i went right to myself.
to hurt you so bad to see me change, or be indifferent
as you would not have liked me to be.
When I was thirteen and i was smiling,
with just enough laughter, not to go out of hand or your lines.
When I vandalised what you planned for me,
only to be coarse with my words.
Yet i wrote so peacefully,
so why would you change on me?

Let me break, fall apart and still trust to fall back into your arms,
you don't have to earn this,
I'm always a piece of you, even if I am not in reality.
like the morning sun i barely see,
but the moon i'll always love beyond ocean depths and hurricane heights.
So bewildered upon the choices i make and break,
my own rules and my own mistakes.
Fighting every fibre of my being to just be atleast a glimpse of your dreams,
maybe i fought way to hard on a fleeting emotion.
Clutching my thoughts so tight as to my sleep vanishing.
Nights where i realised heroes were also lonely warriors at sea,
like the ground we bury ourselves in,
we bury our hearts sometimes way too young.

The beauty still remains in these,
for you find such a love where you fight,
even when you hurt so bad.
Yet you cannot help but feel so good, less proud some days to begin with,
but always willing to give your life up for those.
The fragility of our ribs as cages we often miss,
and sometimes this is why we let our hearts break a little too much.

Home.

And i could swear over my drowning breaths,
that i saw you glance over my ice cold lips.
You, the hands that have held my warmth.
and caressed the edges just the same as my curves.
I could find faults in the spaces between our fingers,
what good would it be? I'd still talk about you as an epitome,
the one that made me laugh and shiver.
Like sea blue water that turns red,
deep inside my fathomable flesh. Cores that turned into craters,
Moulded by your feverish touch and then with love.

Home, come home to me.
where daisies and lilies are not in vases,
And all we would ever need is simple silence in between chaos.
Like the anarchist i am and the solitude you have bred in.
I'll dissolve inside myself and be a whole fragment,
another version. You and me, we would be free.
But even then we would get lost during days,
only to find comfort in the nights where would lie still.
And you would doubt the same thing as me,
or maybe it's just my assuming playing with my reality.

Whatever it may be,
we'd go places and we'd still come back to the very first four walls.
In which i became yours and you were always mine,
like our souls had finally found the empty exits,
only to travel into each others.
And maybe that's how destiny works.
For I was with you the whole time,
and I never really knew you were mine.
Crepes and rainbows, we don't go together as per the world.
and what we didn't know was that we were our own worlds.

Only this time,
we weren't worlds apart.
From here on and forever.