Epiphany.

 Every Sunday morning, I watch all these pictures behind my eyes,

I remember us being so perfectly loved with each other.

And classically forgetting about every worry beyond our world.

Then I became stoic. To this feeling of all my insides turning against me,

You sought after me and ended up lost.

I gave up all of our happiness for something else,

for not having guilt. To walk into my home without having to keep my head low.

You've made me so happy. So happy that I can revive myself

every time my faith hits rock bottom.

My bed is bigger than before, the devils in my thoughts at times.

This wasn't an environment I could feel the pain.

All my anger took my wounds different. Beyond my surface,

I'm stronger than I want to give credit for.

All the villains and heroes and the damsels in distress,

they didn't give me hope anymore.

I don't like some of my scars because I didn't choose them.

I've always been the happy and funny child, the buffer in the family fights.

No one knew how toxic it got at times.

We came so long to have it all right.

If only you could see all the strength in me now,

Mother, Father, see me without all your expectations.

I once craved talks with you, 

those that didn't leave the room or are repeated.

I wish I told you this before. 

I love what I've become. All I want now is to have love for what I used to be.

I'm the same beneath all the layers.

I've found love within myself finally.

I've seen what vulnerability does to us,

but I see it so much different than a moment of weakness 

or being fake or needing attention.

It's the most beautiful to watch someone be themselves.

There's so much pride in that, I never understood before.

But when I watch myself,

I hope you see that your daughter is so much more than you expected.

There's so much beneath my surface.

One day, I'll walk home with you, I'll tell you about me differently.

I quite miss our home.