Lovely.

Everything seems good, 

and I mean everything around me.

But somewhere inside, six feet down my heart

I feel like it's hurting. Constantly breaking 

[falling apart] and mending itself.

Something that seemed to make the hurting worse.

And I'm always smiling, always laughing

trying to be sunshine that everyone needs.

My words don't seem to resonate.

Clutched into an entirety of feeling somewhere in between the emotions.

Like I shouldn't have hoped for a best friend in her.

Or sabotaged the only love that seemed beautiful to me.

All along these walks,

collecting flowers, twirling in the rain

Ended up being the keeper of happiness for someone else 

for days that never treated her well.

Words that were never meant to hurt,

Love that wasn't supposed to leave you broken some nights.

Feeling like walking away for now would fix you.

No matter the stories you read,

or words that would mean anything less.

The girl who loved too soon [too easily]

The one who calls people beautiful,

something about that word fascinated me.

And I was wrong.

The one to always apologize, 

the one who feels too deep.

The one who cries instantly [vulnerability]

Tomorrow I'll wake up smiling

I'll still go through it all.

I know something in me hurts, and I'll still love despite it.

I'll give everyone my everything,

even if I'm never to be understood for myself.

And I'll probably never be able to tell them what's broken hurting inside,

but I'll do it for myself.

I'm worth the love I hold.

I'm not ripped of happiness,

just too hurt to know it's surrounding me at days.

This might not be the words that shine rainbows and smiles,

but this is something real.

And that's lovely.